A New York dating coach has stirred controversy by encouraging her dates to take on traditionally feminine household responsibilities like chores, laundry, and dog-walking. Catherine Drysdale’s unorthodox approach challenges gender norms and has her “training” potential partners to be subservient husband material.
The 32-year-old relationship guru matches with men on Tinder and then has them come over to her apartment. Once there, she assigns them tasks like cleaning, cooking, and tending to her needs – all with the men’s full consent. Drysdale says this process helps weed out partners who won’t be willing to put in the effort of caring for a wife down the line.
“I’m looking for a real man who will meet all my needs,” Drysdale explained in an interview. “So many guys just want to take from a woman without giving anything in return. With my methods, I get to see their true colors.”
Critics Slam Drysdale’s Methods as “Regressive”
The dating coach’s tactics have sparked backlash from critics who view it as a demeaning way to reduce potential partners to servants. “Having a man do chores for you on the first date is basically treating him like a 1950s housewife,” said feminist author Lexie Bennett. “It’s a sexist double-standard that infantilizes men.”
However, Drysdale defends her approach as simply “vetting for marriage potential.” She claims the men are willing participants who consent to the arrangements. “If they really want to make me their wife someday, they need to show that level of dedication first,” she stated.
According to Drysdale, her dating philosophy stems from an encounter at age 23 with a wealthy man who had a “servant” attend to his every need. Since then, she has actively sought partners open to similarly lopsided gender dynamics.
Controversial Tactics on the Rise
Drysdale is far from the only dating expert promoting controversial and arguably manipulative tactics as of late. In January 2024, an Instagram influencer named Shera Lash made headlines for her “Secure the Bag” dating advice, telling women over 25 to aggressively pursue relationships with wealthy older men using mind games and covert tactics.
“Don’t be afraid to hide your insecurities and use reverse psychology,” Lash told her millions of followers. “Having him spoil you is the biggest form of female empowerment.”
As untraditional relationship strategies gain traction online, they are also facing heightened scrutiny from critics who see them as sexist, toxic, or based on antiquated gender stereotypes. Only time will tell if the “wife training” dating scene is a passing fad or an enduring new mating dynamic.